Am I The Only One Afraid?

As the multiple Covid vaccines have been available for some months now and many people have been vaccinated, the expectation of many employers, politicians, and loved ones has been one of return to pre-pandemic interaction. Although there are people who are excited and eager to return to in-person gatherings, many people are experiencing anxiety and stress around this expectation. There is pressure for people to feel joy and hope about the future, but for many folks worry, anxiety, and stress outweigh their positive feelings. A survey conducted by the American Psychological Association found that 49% of adults reported feeling uncomfortable about returning to in-person interactions.

So how can you best manage these difficult emotions and most smoothly adjust to the new, "new normal"? Let's discuss some things to consider.

What are the Strategies that Can Help? 

1. Keep In Mind What is Realistic to Expect : You may be getting pressured to return to "normal" and to just adjust to that, but this is an unrealistic expectation. In fact, the more pressure that you put on yourself to do this, the harder it will be to adjust. It is important to recognize that for over a year and a half regardless of whether or not you have lost a loved one, you have experienced great losses. There have been losses related to going to work, sending your kids to school, socializing with friends and loved ones in the way you used to, losses of safety in your neighborhood as well as in a sense of health, and of course losses of loved one. You cannot pretend that this massive collective experience of loss and trauma did not occur (I mean you can but that will not help you adjust!), and you will need time to mourn and make peace with all of these losses. There is no correct amount of time. Everyone will have their own experience of moving forward and mourning what they have experienced. 
 

2. Watch your Pace : Take your time and go slowly when easing yourself back into either your old routine, or your new new routine. Make sure you set aside time for self-care, as well as time to process your feelings, as you are adjusting. You may be more physically and psychologically exhausted than you may think as you start to expose yourself to the types of stimulation that you have not had exposure to for over a year and a half. Do not do multiple things at once or pack your schedule right away. Start to integrate things back into your schedule slowly by introducing one or two things new each week. You need to reintroduce yourself to structure and that in itself could take a lot of energy, so do not rush...even if you consider yourself an extrovert, you may surprise yourself.
 

3. Communicate Clearly : Much like throughout the pandemic, you will notice that not everyone will share the same views as you about safety, comfort level, and what you "should or should not" be doing. Do not be afraid to state your feelings and needs directly and clearly. Do not be afraid to say "no" to things you are not yet comfortable with, and do not take it personally when people in your life feel differently about whether or not to engage in a particular activity. Try to listen and speak respectfully, and attempt to negotiate something that could feel comfortable for all people involved. If you find yourself getting frustrated or agitation, it may be best to take a pause to engage in some self-care, and resume the conversation at a later time. 
 

4. Welcome Your Feelings as an Observer: It can be incredibly helpful to just observe your feelings. Try not to judge them or tell yourself that you should be feeling something differently. Rather, again, remind yourself of what is realistic and try to find some compassion for yourself. Remember, there is likely a very good reason for why you are feeling the way you are. The more you can adopt an attitude of gentleness and curiosity towards yourself and your feelings, the less you will overburden yourself with negative feelings of shame and judgment, that will just inevitably hold you back anyway. 
 

5. Create a Routine: Just like when the pandemic began psychologists suggested to create a routine to help with adjusting to the new norm. This can also be helpful as you adjust to returning to pre-pandemic interactions and you are figuring out what your are comfortable with. It could be helpful to create a skeleton of a routine where basic things that you have to do daily, like eating and sleeping occur at the same time daily. Then every two weeks you could incorporate one or two new activities into this already existing skeleton schedule. Give yourself a few weeks to adjust to every new activity added to the schedule before including another new event. This structure and process could help you feel a bit more in control and emotionally contained.

6. Find a Buddy!: Sharing your feelings with a trusted companion will help you feel less alone in your fears and worries. You will see that you are not the only one who is experiencing anxieties about engaging in new activities. This trusted friend can help you gauge what your risk level or comfort level is with certain activities, and they can give you feedback on how they felt if they have tried something that you have not yet but want to. You can hold each other accountable for making sure you are engaging in self-care, which is a lot easier than when you are going at it alone. 

7. Get Help!: It is important to hold in mind that even though the vaccines have brought us closer to the end of the pandemic than we were before, the reality is that emotionally many people are still working hard to manage the multiple losses that have been experienced as a result of the pandemic. There are hundreds of reasons why someone may need to speak to a mental health professional at this time. Whether it is because pre-existing anxiety, trauma, or depression have worsened, new anxiety, trauma, or depression has emerged, there are fears around getting sick, or someone is still mourning the death of a loved one...to name just a few. You do not have to go at it alone. Whatever your reasons for seeking help, they are valid!   

Remember, everyone's comfort level with engaging in certain activities will be different. Take your time to gauge your comfort and risk level, and do not judge yourself for what it is. Pace yourself, take it slow, communicate your needs and feelings clearly. and show yourself compassion. You are a person after all. Take care of yourself and you will get there.